Will Your Partner Be A Good Roommate? Here’s How To Tell In Advance
Theres no denying that you have a spectacular significant other on your hands. Theyre a stellar listener, theyre super supportive of all your goals and dreams, and they always know how to lift you up when youre having a crummy day. But will your partner make a good roommate? That’s a separate question entirely.
Moving in together is a pretty colossal step for any couple to take. Not only does it mean seeing a great deal more of each other, but it also means sharing a slew of new responsibilities together (paying bills, cleaning, decorating, etc.).
So before you take this step, its obviously pretty important to assess whether your partner is solid roomie material. Fortunately, you may be able to tell whether its going to be a dream living situation or a disaster by your partners habits, behaviors, and personality traits.
Does your SO always usually remember to put the seat down on the toilet when theyre at your place? Do they offer to help do the dishes when youve cooked dinner? One of the top ways to tell that your partner will be a phenomenal roommate is if theyre a very considerate person, according to Dr. Brown. Pay attention to whether theyre eager to do things that will make your life easier because that considerate behavior will definitely translate when youre cohabitating. For example, they may remember to pick up a couple of your favorite items they know youre out of while theyre at the grocery store, or go out with friends to give you some space at home when they know you need to concentrate on a complex assignment.
If your partner is a generally responsible person, thats also a solid sign that theyll be a good roomie. Dr. Brown advises taking note of whether they seem to pay their own bills on time, as this will give you a glimpse at how theyll handle this important duty while youre cohabitating. No one wants to stress about getting their roommate to pay for their share of the rent or utilities, and no one wants to have to nag their roomie about it, either. Other ways to tell if theyre responsible include: if theyre reliable at their job, and if they attend events or appointments theyve committed to. Dr. Brown warns that if they spend more than they make, and show no interest in trying to change their poor financial habits, thats a major red flag as well.
Can you depend on your partner to do what they say theyre going to do? This is a super important aspect to consider. Dr. Brown warns that if your SO doesnt keep their promises, they very likely wont be a quality roommate. Think about it this way: How can you have a happy, stress-free living situation with someone if you never know whether theyll follow through on their word whether its a promise to straighten up before your family comes over, or to fix that appliance they broke? Unpredictability may seem like an exciting quality or an endearing quirk at first, but it can be frustrating AF when youre living with someone. Without a doubt, reliability is one of the most beneficial traits you can look for in a roomie (and a significant other!).
Lastly, Dr. Brown emphasizes that a crucial element to take into account is whether or not your SO has healthy conflict resolution habits.
The two of you are able to come to fair and workable agreements for example, about who pays for what, he explains. They understand that even the best of couples are going to have disagreements, and the two of you are devoted to finding healthy ways to work through conflicts.
Conflict resolution skills are obviously important in any relationship, regardless of whether you cohabitate. However, this becomes even more significant when you live together. Youll now be forced to work things out while sharing space including a bed and a bathroom with this person. And if you arent able to disagree in an open, honest and respectful way, then tensions and resentments could rise very quickly.
Keep in mind that no one is perfect, and its very possible that your partner could improve in any or all of these areas as long as you bring them to their attention and discuss them in a supportive, non-accusatory way. Just because your SO is a little bit of an impulsive spender or tends to avoid conflict, doesnt mean they wont eventually make for a spectacular roommate it just means they have some work to do before you both sign a lease. Remember: The ideal roomie is reliable, considerate, and able to resolve conflict in a healthy way. By looking for these qualities before you move in together, youre setting you and your boo up for success in this exciting new chapter of your relationship.